Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Van Gogh is Bipolar is worth top dollar

Are you looking for the perfect date? Perhaps with somebody you just got to know and you're afraid that you'd both run out of topics to discuss over dinner? Or perhaps you need a The Sims-like setup when you need to get your partner all well-fed and happy before you pop that difficult question? Or it could be as simple as you want to make your special someone feel, well, special? Ask me and I got you just the place!

No need to be afraid. There's no need to fly to Paris, nor to dine in any fancy restaurant. Just drive to Maginhawa Street in Sikatuna Village. There you'll find a quaint restaurant oddly called Van Gogh is Bipolar.   

Make sure to make a reservation. Besides that it's needed else you won't get a table, it's just the sweetest thing when a guy reserves in a restaurant because it would mean 1.) he planned ahead therefore, 2.) he was looking forward to your date. Second, be sure to arrive early. Why? Because when you're the first guests, the attention would be all yours until the other guests arrive. This would mean you guys can chat up the owner Jetro or the newly hired server, Mio. They'd be more than willing to let you try on the many hats and aprons to goof around with. It is just the most appealing thing when a guy has a sense of humor. So if you don't have one, at least Van Gogh can help you pretend you do. :D

But before all the dating stuff, make sure you show you have respect for rules so she'll know you're a dutiful slave so she'll know you know how to follow orders even when you're the one giving them. :) Read the house rules. For lazy guys, there's no need to worry. Third rule and sixth might soon be erased since the time we dined, Mio the server just got hired. As in, we heard Jetro say, "You're hired, Mio!" Congratulations! :D So there you go, your idleness would go unnoticed. 

Although you don't have a say in what you'll be particularly eating, you do get some options. If you're feeling a bit thrifty, you can opt to have a three-course meal which entails a soup, a main dish and dessert for P666. Or if your date is beautiful and you want a longer date, go for the four-course meal where an appetizer is added for P777. Now, if you guys have something to ask  starting with "Will you...?" or maybe did something you shouldn't have, definitely go for the five-course meal (a salad is added) for P999. Now, of course you guys want your date in a good mood. Van Gogh offers just that. You guys can choose either "happy" (fish based main entree) or "chill" (meat based main entree). 

Now, show how obedient you can be and get a pen and write your names and "happy" or "chill" and ring the bell.

While waiting, you and your date can explore around. There will surely be no dead air as you point out to each other the funniest or the oddest things. 


Make sure to visit the dark room where you can write skeletons in your closet for other strangers to read. Just make sure your date won't recognize your writing among the many others or you might just end up dining alone. You'll surely find the room since it's right outside the restroom which didn't look like a restroom but a sunroom where the owner wistfully thought to put the toilet bowl. 

When you feel your date needs some "handling", pick the loveliest teapot and put in some tea leaves (you can choose what mood you want her to be in, each container indicates the type of leaves and the mood it brings about.) then put in some hot water. Wait for a moment while it steeps then add some honey. Then serve.

Food arrives in no time. The soup comes first. I'm not really sure about the name. All I know is that it has some veggies and turkey bits sided with toasted banana slice served very hot. Yum, yum. You and your date will surely be impressed. Although, do note that Jetro serves whatever he fancies so you might get another kind of soup. 

While you guys wait for the next entree, enjoy your drinks. We got "The Virginia Woolf's Tears." It's how juices are suppose to be made. It tastes fresh and nothing else. It has apple bits, watermelon bits and others which adds further color to the drink. Oh, and make sure to nibble on the lemongrass end to make drinking a pure bliss.

Next up is the appetizer (only if you chose the 4-course and the 5-course) which is called Axl Rose's Egg Shot. This is the Van Gogh signature dish. It's basically a raw egg in its shell submerged in hot water for 5 minutes or more then you break the shell and pour out the egg white. What you're after is the egg yolk which you will mix into the shot glass with black sauce. Mix a bit then, bottom's up! Don't forget to say "prost!" which is cheers in German. Girls are highly impressed by guys who can speak another language even when it's just a word or two. :D

If you are trying to show a suave appeal, make sure to practice cracking eggs and filtering out the egg whites since it can get messy. As for girls, you can retain your poise by asking Mio to demo what you're suppose to do. :D

You will be served the salad only if you went all out and got the 5 course meal. It's something fresh out of the garden. Honestly, the only reason people are still going to Sonya's Garden is because they haven't tried Van Gogh's "Larry's Flynt's Cabbage Experience." Of course, don't forget to be hygienic and wash your hands first. It'd be such a turn off when you just go ahead and use your hands without washing first.

So, to enjoy the salad just peel a layer of boiled cabbage, put everything on it, roll and dip into the black sauce. Yum, yum, yum. Try not to talk while your mouth is full. :)

The main dishes for "happy" and "chill" changes. But here is a sample. For "CHILL" we got black rice with chicken in a light tasty guava sauce. (You could only get turkey or chicken or lamb meat since these are the mood lifting meats.)

For "HAPPY", I was served fish (too yummy to bother identifying *a way of saying, I'm no food connoisseur just a food lover) with a light lemon sauce with pasta that I suspect isn't white pasta but the veggie sort. Oh, it's heaven. The serving sizes are perfect. It's not too little for you to think of the fine dining snobbery (you know the motto, the smaller the serving, the more expensive it is.) at the same time it's not too big that you'll feel heavy being too full. 

By this time, you'd forget you're somewhere in Quezon City instead of a posh location like... Picardy. Your date might even assume you're paying more than a thousand tops but do let her know or she might think you're not being honest. (Explanation later.)

For dessert, we thought it disappointing when Mio had put two ice candies before us. After the fantastic meal, we get ice candies for dessert?? Don't worry, it's a specially yummy one called "Marilyn Monroe's dirty lolly." 

Surprise! That's not all. That's just a third of the dessert. The other third is a specially blended "light" liquor mixed by Jetro himself. You both drink a half of it after pouring the half with the dark chocolate in the shot glass which you also drink bottoms up right after downing the last half in the test tube. This is called "Mel Gibson's Darkest Sin." To cool off, enjoy the ice candies. :)

Well, that was one impressive meal don't you think? Perfect for the health conscious because you want your special someone to live longer, don't you? Unless you're after their riches. :D 

Before you go, make sure to make the right impression. Go to the red cash box and honestly put in just how much is due (and maybe a little bit more). Nothing impresses a woman more than honesty. :) Now, now, make sure to also pay your date's share as well. Chivalry still sweeps a lady off her feet, you know. :p

Although by the end of the meal, both of you would surely feel calm and happy that you can ask anything of each other like, say... a date in Tuscany perhaps? :)

van gogh is bipolar

to the right, inner courtyard 
154 maginhawa st.
(behind "Redbucks cafe)
sikatuna village, quezon city
(02) 394-0188

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